scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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