So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
