STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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