They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
