I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
