Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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