he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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