The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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