It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
