If that was your dad, he is hot
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
