I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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