Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
