Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
