Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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