how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
