The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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