I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
