You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
