What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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