My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
