I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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