This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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