toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
