16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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