roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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