also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
