she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
