the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
