I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
