the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
