i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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