Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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