Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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