I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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