i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
