I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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