Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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