Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
