East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
