I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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