you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
