with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
