If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
