I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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