you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
