my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
