Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
