whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize