i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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