Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
