I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
