I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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