smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
