the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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