A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
