We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
