I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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