haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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