3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh god it's open bar.
We smell like vodka and hangover
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
