Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
