There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
