Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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