i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
please don't ironically join a cult
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