How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
